Scammed. Dammit.

…in which our hero briefly gets involved with Cameroon gangsters while trying to buy a queen. Maybe three.

I have a newly relocated hive, and it appears that the queen did not join her comrades in the move. So I need a queen.

I have helped a friend of mine, Danny Ferguson, capture a couple of swarms. The queen for both ended up not being viable. He needs two queens.

I was looking up ‘queens’ on facebook, and (after a couple of Decadence pictures from New Orleans), I came across an advertisement for a bee business – they have nucs (small, viable, ‘nuc’leus hives) and queens and equipment. I glance through the different ads on different pages, and they look legit. Most importantly, they have queens.

Several more rounds of back and forth, and I order 3 queens – two for Danny and one for me. $125 for three queens; pay by Venmo, cash app and zelle.

I get his Zelle number johnward921@gmail.com and send him the money.

“Send a screenshot shot of your payment.”

“Open your activities and if the money is still on pending, call your bank to release the money.”

At this point I am getting an itch between my shoulder blades. “You know, John,” I text him, “I’m not feeling confident based on your tone.  Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Why have that feeling?” “I told you everything and you just have to wait for your mated queens to be delivered.” “Us they something you are not understanding?”

then…

“Your bank has not release the funds yet, thats why i have not received it.”

At this point I understand what has happened. “So I should call my bank.”

“On July 4th.”

“Independence Day.”

“Suuure… I am positive they will be waiting on my call.”

I know it is a scam at this point, but what can I do? Zelle is the same as cash. As soon as it is out of your grasp, it no longer belongs to you.

Then the pestering begins. “John” asked me four times in the next 12 hours for me to text him a picture of my account saying that it had been released.

Finally: “If you don’t want the queens anymore you can let me know man. What the heck is stoping you from opening up with me?”

“You do recall that I am a customer, right? This is highly unprofessional of you. BANKS WERE NOT OPEN YESTERDAY AND THEY WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE”

At this point I am certain that I will not see my $125 or my queens. And I run a FB search – again – for the guys that are advertising: Ela and sons farmstead.

Oh, Lord.

I have gotten scammed by a Cameroon branch of organized crime. Yes, you read that right. In trying to buy three queens, I got taken in by a Nigerian Prince scam.

At this point, it is just a laughing matter. I will not be able to recoup the funds, even though I called my bank to tell them. They were nice, but it was done, and they really couldn’t offer me anything except commiseration. All I can do is report the scam and press charges. Against the Cameroon mafia.

And laugh.

Back some years ago, I visited Little Rock for some training, and because of some miscommunication, I ended up getting a ‘redneck boot’ on my truck. I argued with the guy, insisting that the lack of signage on parking lots was not my fault. And then I got tickled, when I realized I was paying $40 for really funny story. And I paid him, and got his picture, which I included in a blog entry later that day. Inflation being what it is, I am not thrilled to pay 125 bucks for the story…. but I think it is worth it. I have definitely gotten my money’s worth in laughter.

Now I am just preparing an additional bit for my beekeeping standup routine.